Buy sausage casing, the hog variety, in size 38 to 42 millimeters, which will give you intestines that are 1 ½ to 1 ¾ inches in diameter when stuffed. A 20-pound package will provide about 40 feet of casing.
Take the sausage casing out of its plastic wrapping, put it in a bucket of water, and soak for 24 hours. This will make it easier to handle.
Cook up as much spaghetti as you need to fill your sausage casing—start with a full pot.
and color it
Once it’s cooked, drain the spaghetti, transfer it to a big bowl, and pour cooking oil all over it to make it more slippery. Then, add red food coloring until you get the color you want. Let the spaghetti cool down enough to handle with your bare hands.
Protect your hands and your kitchen from food
color stains by putting down plastic garbage bags and either wearing
rubber gloves or coating your hands with petroleum jelly.
Fill the casing
Using the knife, cut a few feet from the end of the casing. Knot one end of your casing strip and stick the PVC pipe about 1 inch into the open end. Then, slide the spaghetti into the casing through the pipe. Once the casing is plump, tie off the other end.
If you’re having trouble getting the
spaghetti all the way to the end of the casing, hold the opening
under a faucet—the running water will help push it down.
When you’re done, just let the water spill out.
Make intestines of different lengths. When you arrange them, they’ll look more realistic.
Scare the hell out of someone with your wonderful, awful fake intestines.